Mixed Blessings

I am so grateful my stuff arrived. My furniture fits better than I imagined, and I am quite happy with the pad. However, unpacking the boxes has been a mixed blessing. I knew there would be difficulties. What do I do with a spear? I don't really need this mug. Blah, blah, blah. But there was one item I was totally unprepared for: the milkshake maker.

The summer I moved out of my ex-wife's house, my daughter and I were shopping for items for my apartment. She saw a milkshake maker. "Dad, isn't that cool?" I remembered my grandmother making my sister and I malts when we were young and stayed with her on Saturday nights. Now my daughter would be spending every other Saturday night at my place. "Yeah. That is cool. Let's get it."

We went through a few gallons of ice cream that first summer. Each shake required two scoops of chocolate and two scoops of vanilla. They took forever to make and were rather lumpy. They were the best milkshakes ever. For some reason we never made milkshakes the second or third summer I was in my apartment in Hamden. I guess we got into a routine that didn't include milkshakes. So I was quite surprised when I opened the box, saw the milkshake maker, and nearly broke down.

The decision to come to Korea was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. On the positive, I would be making good money, I would have my own lab, I would be a boss, I could decide the direction of the research, I wouldn't have to write grants, I would live in an exotic city and my housing would be provided. There was only one negative. I would be away from my sweetie girl. That single reason was enough; I wasn't going to take this job. Then the thought hit that would eventually change my mind. Too bad this opportunity wasn't four years from now. My daughter would be going to college and becoming independent. The thought then began to evolve. She is already becoming independent. Of course she still needs her dad but not as much as she used to. We no longer made milkshakes. Perhaps it could work now. My career was stagnating, and I didn't want to look back years later regretting not trying. So the decision was made.

Now, at this moment, I regret trying. It's impossible not to have regrets. You only get one life. Of course it is too early to truly say whether this was a bad decision or not (I'm fairly certain I would have regretted not trying more). The point of this post was for me to remember why I am here... and to procrastinate opening another box. Where is that damn spear?