Tenure

I made tenure after a year and a half. That is an absurd statement, but it is true. I am a tenured professor in the Republic of Korea. From the song Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads:

'You may find yourself living in a shotgun shack
You may find yourself in another part of the world
You may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile
You may find yourself in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife
You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?'

Amen to that question.

It turns out the answer begins in March of 2009. On a rainy Friday a few of my friends met up for a drink after work. One of them was the director of a research institute who brought his umbrella thinking it was going to rain. When a table opened up, we grabbed it. A few minutes later, a very pretty young woman came to our table carrying an umbrella. "Did somebody forget this?", and then she walked away.

I was the only single person at this table having gotten divorced a few months earlier. I was really having trouble going out since I had been away from the dating game for a very long time. Anyway, I had a thought that to me was funny. "Yeah right, I bet she took your umbrella so she could come over to meet me." Another friend looks at me, asks for the umbrella, and leaves. He quickly returned and we continued drinking.

About ten minutes later, "Did someone forget this umbrella again?" Oh my God. He had told her that I was a really good guy and that she should meet me. I have the best friends. They are amazing, and when I had no idea what to say they all picked up the slack. This group effort resulted in getting her phone number.

When I called, it sort of went like this scene from Swingers:
 

 
It wasn't quite that painful. When I got her voice mail I said," Hey this is Brad. When you're free perhaps we can get some wings. My phone number is... oh my God, I've forgotten my phone number." Click.

Smooth. So smooth. I retold this story at work to my young friends across the hall. They had never seen Swinger's so I lent them the movie. They thought it was hilarious, and we started hanging out.

One night we were at a student lounge. I was talking to a woman who had taken cooking courses at Notre Dame University. Being from Indiana, I was money.

"I should teach you how to cook. It's fun."

"That would be great. The last time my daughter and I tried to cook, it didn't go so well."

And she was gone. Oh well, I was in the land of the twenty somethings. It wasn't surprising. As I was about to leave, one of my young friends stops me.

"You can't leave yet. I just met the most amazing woman in the bathroom." It takes me a few seconds to understand why I am having trouble comprehending him.

"Yeah, I was too drunk to use the men's room upstairs, so I used the women's. She was in the stall next to me. She is amazing."

She was indeed amazing. For a brief period in time we were really in love. Unfortunately, we were going to be long distance since she was starting a nonprofit to help support orphans in Nepal. I didn't want to do long distance, but I would have gone anywhere to be with her. And then I got an offer in Seoul. It wasn't Nepal, but it was as close as I could get.

While that relationship didn't survive the long distance, there was no way I could have made this move without the emotional connection I had with her at the time. I could not have done it alone. I would have been too afraid, and I would not have gotten tenure.

"You may ask yourself, well, how did I get here?"

A kind act returns an umbrella, a friend uses the wrong restroom, and I get tenure. I love the paths in life.

Dating, Take 1

" I'm sorry. I just can't do this anymore."

The apartment darkens as the computer screen shuts down.

Those were the last words she ever spoke to me. They still haunt me even though it has been over a year. Everyone agrees (myself included) that I should move on. Everyone agrees that the best way to do that is to find someone new. Okay, here we go.

A little history. A few months after I was divorced a friend convinced me to join an online dating service. Your first matches are free. I was immediately enamored with a trapeze artist in New York City. I mean, she was a trapeze artist. Actually, I think she was some guy who works at eHarmony.com. Can you say bait?

Well, anyway, I signed on. It was actually fun. Many of my matches were in New York, so I would take the train to the City. It was all rather romantic. I would have a drink or dinner and meet some of the strangest people on the planet. One was a Brazilian-Haitian Mormon. That's right. There are less than four of them on the planet. She was very pretty and fun. I finally asked her how she became a Mormon.

"They came to my door."

Conclusion - you never know what is going to work. So when I saw an ad online for Koreancupid.com I joined. A little more history. My Freshman year in college I wrote a 'dating' program to match people up in our dorm. Some guys on my floor had the idea and generated a questionnaire with simple questions like 'what color eyes do you like?'. The response was rather impressive. If I had any business sense... oh, well, Facebook wasn't to happen for another 20 years.

These guys had no way of matching the responses, so they asked me if I could write a program. That was way beyond my ability (and still is), but I had a program that could grade tests. By using one questionnaire as the key we could match the people that had the most similar answers. Of course, that meant matching guys who liked red heads to women that also liked red heads. Not perfect (they had something in common), but I think it is better than Koreancupid.com.

Indeed, Koreancupid.com is basically random. For instance, I am looking for someone between the ages of 35-50. Most of my matches are 28-32 who are looking for someone 25-38. Okay, I'm looking for someone who can speak English. A large percentage (maybe 40%) have no English skills. Okay, I guess I'm just looking for interesting profile pictures. The winner was a very pretty young lady with a tattoo on her arm that read 'Respect Grandma'. I know this culture respects its elders, but really?

Another winner was an extremely attractive lady who wrote one sentence in her bio. "I am transgender." My first thought was one of thanks for saving me the embarrassment of contacting him/her. My second thought was one of fear, not knowing if all transgenders were so forthright.

Oh, the joys of dating. Don't worry. It gets better.   

Elections! Dance Off, Baby!

I love to dance. Given the moves I've learned in Korea (http://ahoosierinkorea.blogspot.com/2012/01/talent-show-bizarre-twists-part-2.html), I think you can see why. Of course I have always loved to dance even back in high school. There is something just hilarious about the moves we try on the dance floor. It is great fun.

In 2010 I was first exposed to the 'Dance Off'. I went to a movie featuring dance battles, Step Up 3D. Oh my, the story line was absurdly predictable. The acting was pretty thin, and some of the effects were ridiculous (a slurpy defying gravity?). But the dancing was incredible (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89TLbK6o-og) and in 3D! That was such a special moment. It was aw....aw....awesome. Surprisingly, it also prepared me for my adventures in Korea.

"Some people learn to dance. Others are born to." Koreans are born to dance. There is no question of that. The dance clubs here have so much energy. More than once I have found myself in a friendly dance off sharing moves with the locals. A circle of strangers getting their move on. It is absolutely hilarious and great fun if not kind of odd. That was until it was time for Korean elections.

Last week as I was walking to work when three Koreans dressed in a numbered uniform walked by and flashed me the victory sign. My friend told me they were campaigning for the Korean elections. I know nothing about politics here, and with the U.S. having gone completely crazy politically I was not keen to follow Korean politics until I was told there was dancing.

I am sorry to say that I do not have good video of this campaign season, so I am resorting to YouTube.

The dancing, I mean campaign, can get quite serious.

And then there was dancing in the streets.

Now, I didn't witness this, but apparently sometimes opposing campaigns will be on opposite sides of the street. Are you ready to battle?

I can't help but love this country. I thought dancing at baseball games was cool but campaign dancing takes it to a whole new level. Come to Korea and get your groove on.

Pronunciations

In graduate school I had a Turkish lab mate who would boast about his English. "The Turkish accent allows us to speak better English than Americans." The next day there was a note on my bench from him:

Bred,
The business office called.

Sali

At least he spelled my name the way he pronounced it. The same thing happens here. Often when someone hears my name they just start cracking up. Last Friday a lab upstairs celebrated their grand opening. Here is a conversation I have had more than once. (A side note: syllables in Korean are consonant-vowel-consonant or consonant-vowel. My name is pronounced Ba-rah-da-lee)

"Ah, excuse me. Your name tag says  Ba-rah-da-lee Baker," says a young lady who can barely control her laughter. "Can I call you that?"

"Of course. That's my name."

"You're a Bread Baker!" she exclaims as she nearly collapses from laughing. Their English is good enough to know bread baker, but it is not good enough to differentiate Brad from bread. Awesome.

I also have a pronunciation problem with taxi cab drivers. I work at the Korea Institute for Science and Technology commonly known as KIST. There is another institute, the Korean Advanced Institute for Science and Technology known as KAIST. My institute has a short i vowel sound. The advanced institute has a long i vowel sound. KAIST is more prestigious (it is advanced after all). KAIST is in the news more. Indeed, science is on the news so much here that the camera crews bring actors to play scientists when reporting on something at work. Absolutely amazing.

Anyway, everytime I tell someone I work at KIST, they say, "KAIST, very prestigious." This has led to my new motto, "F KAIST," which is always thought but never spoken (okay, sometimes spoken softly). But then one night I gave my business card to a cab driver to take me home.

"Oh, KAIST. Nay, nay." Nay is yes in Korean. He took me home no problem, and I realized it was a pronunciation problem just like my name. Most Koreans English isn't good enough to differentiate KIST from KAIST. Good, from then on I would just say I worked at KAIST and save everyone the effort of trying to explain the difference.

The next night I went to a dance club with a friend. The dance clubs here are amazing, but I am really too old for that scene. Still, dancing with Koreans is an absolute blast, so I went. The place was packed. My friend runs into someone he knows and they start dancing. I drink my beer wedged near two tables which gives me a place to stand as masses of humanity try to move to and from the bar.

"Hello," she said as she tried to get by.

"Hello," I am such a witty conversationalist. A few minutes later...

"Hello, again. I am trying to find my friends," she explained as she tried to retrace her path.

"Good luck," I said this time adding a smile. A few minutes later...

"I still haven't found my friends."

"I haven't seen them," I said as I watch her go back to the bar for the third time.

The table next to me ordered some drinks that came in an ice bucket. In a rather rapid succession this is what followed. A Korean woman came up to me, danced for about 10 seconds, rubbed my head, grabbed a piece of ice, put it in her mouth and kissed me transferring the ice cube in the process. And then she was gone. I just stood there in shock partly due to what had just happened and partly due to the fact that the ice cube was freezing. Apparently, an ice cube in the mouth can be rather debilitating. Fortunately, I was shaken from my stupor.

"Hey, I found one of my friends." Indeed she had. I found myself talking to two of the more attractive women at the club. Yeah, life makes sense. "So what do you do?" she asks me as we begin to dance.

"I work at KAIST."

Her eyes go wide. "You work over an hour away! Really? I used to travel back and forth from KAIST and KIST. That's a long trip.We are chemical engineers. I used to work for Pfizer."

I've tried to calculate the odds of me telling the first person I work at KAIST to be a chemical engineer at a dance club who had worked at both KAIST and KIST, but my head nearly explodes. This place is absolutely crazy... in a good way generally. Indeed, I might blog in the near future about an actual experiment since I am meeting more and more scientists.

Good Story Telling - A Short Intro to Korean Movies

I love a good story. I really love good story telling. It is an art that I got a glimpse of long ago when I took acting lessons (http://ahoosierinkorea.blogspot.com/2011/10/million-strangers-with-million-stories.html). Whether sitting around a campfire or in front of a 60 inch TV, a good story is just a joy. In today's post I hope to convince you to experience some Korean story telling. It can be really good.

In 2010 I had the privilege of meeting an independent movie maker who is Korean American. He had just completed a short film entitled Underground Sonata (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRaaBiRo5Lo). A detective reunites with a long lost love. Unfortunately, that reunion is the result of an illegal weapons sting; his lost love has become a weapon trafficker. That is a really good premise, but what I really loved about this short was the way the story was told. Using cut scenes and flashbacks, the characters were developed without disturbing the rhythm of the movie. I think having only 14 minutes and a shoestring budget actually helped this process. He had to be extremely efficient which necessitated a lot of creativity. Or perhaps his creativity resulted in an efficient story line. Regardless of cause and effect, it is a really good short that I highly recommend (http://www.amazon.com/Underground-Sonata-Arun-Storrs/dp/B003OUXH94/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1327331103&sr=8-1).

The reason I relate the Underground Sonata short is not because the film maker is Korean American. It is because when you have limited resources you can not afford to lose track of the story. I enjoy a good block buster with explosions, chase scenes, and great special effects, but those movies run the risk of focusing on those special effects at the expense of telling the story. My sampling is not that large but the Korean movies that I have seen to date are simple stories that are beautifully done. Like Underground Sonata, the focus is on the story.

I have already described in a previous post a scene from the 2010 movie Come, Closer (A Million Strangers with a Million Stories, part 1) in which a Korean woman listens to a random stranger on the phone  (http://www.hancinema.net/korean_movie_Come_v__Closer.php#pictures). I loved that scene. I don't know much about the rest of the movie since there were no English subtitles. Here is a link to the trailer (with English subtitles): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMsmKX9B0ws). A note about the subtitles - sometimes the translation is not perfect. I actually like that since it forces me to interpret what is meant. I can't be a passive observer.

The next movie can be watched completely on youtube with English subtitles. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring is a 2003 movie by Kim Ki-duk. This movie shows five different phases in the life of a Buddhist monk, but not in a way you would expect. Quoting Kim Ki-duk, "I intended to portray the joy, anger, sorrow and pleasure of our lives through four seasons and through the life of a monk who lives in a temple on Jusan Pond surrounded only by nature." I think you will be surprised that this is a modern day story.

The movie is very slow yet rather abrupt. The scenery is spectacular. Roger Ebert put this movie on his great movie list. I was only so-so about it until the final scenes which sent shivers down my spine. As I write this post, I have watched some of the scenes again. I missed a lot of the analogies the first time. And I am sure I am still missing many more. That is okay. It is a good story. Here is a link to get you started: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l60PamQWMZA

The next movie is another Kim Ki-duk movie called 3 Iron. Do not google this movie or Kim Ki-duk for that matter. There is an extraordinary scene in this movie. It is so extraordinary that it is hard not to see the scene or a particular image from the scene before watching the movie. In the opening scene a guy goes around posting flyers on house hold doors. Those flyers that aren't removed become targets for him to rob since no one is home. This is a thief of hearts story and that is all I will say about it. Here is a link to the opening scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5oN6IMV8g8

The last movie I will talk about today is a 2011 movie by Choi Ik-hwan entitled Mama which can also be seen with English subtitles on youtube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgnZC5pAwEY). This movie is about the relationships of three mothers with their sons or daughters. This is one of the most touching movies I have ever seen. The opening scene shows pictures in a photo album. As the pages are turned, we see pictures of moms in various stages of their lives with the following captions:

Some one who drives me crazy (the page turns)

Who fills me with fear (the page turns)

Who's thrifty (the page turns)

Who prefers cash to flowers (another picture)

Who only likes my brother (another page)

Who loves me more than I love myself (the page turns again)

Who embarrasses me (yet again)

Whom I don't want to resemble (the page turns)

The first word of a lifetime (the page turns)

MAMA

I hope from those captions you can sense a degree of surprise. Not everything is positive and not every story has a happy ending... or maybe it does. I find it hard to predict what will happen in these movies.

One of the things I really like about movies (and stories in general) is how universal they are. We all share the same dreams, fears, troubles, and joys. I do not get the sense that these movies are made to make a lot of money. They seem to be made to tell a story. And they do it very well. As such, they have brought me great joy. I hope the same will go for you. Here's to good story telling no matter what the language.

When One Door Closes... (Bizarre Twists part 2)

I used to believe in fate. I liked the idea of a grand plan in which I played an important role. Life was simply me trying to figure out that role. I'm still working on that role, but I have given up on the grand plan. Instead, there are a million different paths that lead to some extraordinary experiences.

Today's post is a result of having lost a basketball game (http://ahoosierinkorea.blogspot.com/2011/09/im-mercenary-bizarre-twists-part-1.html). I was rather upset and venting to whomever was in earshot.

"Our department has no representation on Sports Day."

"There is always the talent show," said a secretary in the business office. "I've signed up to do a belly dance."

I immediately asked her if she needed backup dancers. You see, I have always wanted to be a 'Pip'. That might sound strange until you watch Gladys Knight and the Pips perform 'Midnight Train to Georgia' (especially at the 1:10 mark, woo hoo!).

Once she agreed I was off to find partners in crime. I already knew my Japanese colleague could dance (see http://ahoosierinkorea.blogspot.com/2011/11/when-in-doubt-high-five-strangers-and.html). Another colleague had suffered a similar 'coaching' experience on the soccer field; he was in. We pressured our Iranian friend to join. Whenever he wants to make a strong statement he says, "Thank you very much!" as he puts his arm straight out with his hand up to signal there is nothing more to be said. We all do that now. We also took advantage of the new post-doc from Ghana. What can I say? He was new.

It turned out that our lead dancer is quite talented and modified a dance to a very popular K-pop song, 'Roly Poly'. We had a week to prepare. I was warned the first practice might be strenuous. It was definitely hilarious. Teaching us was like herding cats.

And then a miracle happened. Sports day was canceled due to weather. Too bad because we had gotten quite good (yeah, right.) Anyway, two weeks later the Brain Science Institute had a retreat to promote closer interactions between the various departments. The retreat was out in the boonies with traditional Korean accommodations (you sleep on the floor).

I actually had a really good time. There was one science talk, one Korean folk music talk (in Korean), a poster session, an adventure trail, a version of paint ball, and of course a talent show.

High bridge leading to a zip line

Paintball without paint in a fake city with real cars

We signed up for the talent show. There had been rumors that another dance group was doing the same song, but one of them hurt her knee so they didn't perform. There were two other entrants, a band performing Justin Bieber and a soloist violin player. We were the final act. After our lead dancer did her belly dance, this is what followed (note: our Iranian dropped out. I really can't blame him).

I love the posters in the background. We won 50,000 won gift certificates for our efforts. I don't think the Koreans have laughed that hard in a long time. The crowd started chanting encore, but we were having too much fun backstage showing off our winnings.

Needless to say, we were a huge hit. A few weeks later another talent show was announced to mark the anniversary of the institute. This time we prepared another song just in case the audience wanted another encore. I think it is safe to say that we were quite taken with ourselves.

Our new song was another K-pop song that translates to 'Having an affair'. It starts off with a phone call. In Korea there are several mascot balloons used in advertising whose arms flail about to get your attention. I mention that to sort of explain the next video.

This effort won us 100,000 won gift certificate. We are no longer considered amateurs. I think that is rather obvious (I hope the sarcasm translates here). I do fear for the future of the group. I'm considering a solo endeavor (those guys are just holding me back). And of course there is the documentary of when scientists go bad.

Anyway to wrap things up, it amazes me how losing a basketball game set off quite a series of events. Sometimes a loss results in a win. When one door closes, another door opens. Good God, close that door quickly. Those guys think they can dance.  I would have been such a good 'Pip'.