Baffling the Mystified

I guess you could say I am easily baffled. For instance many years ago I walked into a White Castle restaurant in need of the original sliders. On the menu the price of a White Castle hamburger was 49 cents. Underneath that was the price for a ten-pack, $5.

"Sir, can I help you? Sir, are you ready to order? Are you okay?"

It took a long time for me to respond. I was totally debilitated. All of my cognitive ability was focused on why buying a ten-pack would cost more than ten single hamburgers. "Uhm, hamburgers are 49 cents?"

"Yes, sir."

"And ten are $5?" I was completely baffled. Eventually, several smart-ass comments crossed my mind, but fortunately, I remembered the golden rule of fast food restaurants: Never piss off the help unless you want your pickles pissed on.

Now that I live in a foreign land I am usually mystified. The other night I was having a nice conversation with a new bartender, "What did you do before taking this job?"

"I was a nurse, but I quit because I could make more money bar tending."

Conversation over. I could not comprehend how a bar that may have 20 people there during its 'busy' time could possibly pay more than a nursing job. Maybe I don't want to know the answer (When I go to the clinic, are nurses happy with their pay?). Doesn't matter. I was completely baffled and no longer capable of continuing the conversation.

Now, I thought I was getting a little better at recovering from my mystified state. That was until I decided to eat lunch off campus. I am ashamed to say that sometimes I eat at McDonalds. I like Korean food a lot but there are times I don't want grilled octopus. I also go to McDonalds when I don't want dinner to be an adventure. Don't get me wrong. I love exploring the city and finding new restaurants, but if the menu has no pictures, good luck to me.

Korean fast food chains imported from the US are very good here. The quality and speed of service are quite impressive. I also like that a Big Mac value meal is only 5,000 won ($5). So I decided to go there for lunch. They do speak a little English but not much.

"A Big Mac set." A set refers to fries and drink with the sandwich.

"Uh?" I usually try twice before pointing at the Big Mac on the sign.

"Oh, Big Mac set-eh. Hannah?" They must think westerners eat a ton of food because they always ask me if I want just one. "Hannah?"

I give the lady my 5,000 won...and she gives me change. Uh oh. What have I ordered? Why was it only 3,900 won? "Lunch-eh." McDonalds has a lunch special. Why does McDonalds have a lunch special? Beats me. Oh yeah and then there is this:

McDelivery! 24/7 365 days a year.

When I was younger I would have eaten at McDonalds for every meal, but Korean food has spoiled me. Or so I thought. On a recent date I was asked what Korean food I like.

"I really like shaboo shaboo."

"That's Japanese."

"Oh, on Black Day you eat a noodle dish with soy bean sauce. It is really good."

"That's Chinese."

"Oh, uh...HOW ABOUT FRENCH FRIES? I really like those!"

It's a mystery to me why we haven't gone out again. Well, we actually went out again an hour after our first date ended. That was kind of baffling too.