I'm a Mercenary! Bizarre Twists Part 1

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray...

'The Layers' - Stanley Kunitz 

Korea constantly reminds me that I have no idea what the future has in store. Lately, I have been wondering if I had known I would end up in Korea would I have continued on that path. The question is moot, but I like thinking about it. Before I had a job offer in Korea, I was seriously considering changing fields. I wanted to become a teacher and coach basketball. I've also wanted to be a politician, an actor, and a scientist. 'I have walked through many lives, some of them my own..." Ultimately, I know I would have continued along this path because I would never have believed anyone who told me what my future had in store.

I learned long ago that life is way more creative than I am. That belief makes me a little reluctant to impose my dreams on reality. That's not to say I haven't tried, but that usually ends in disaster. May of 2011 is a great example of just how disastrous that can be. Today's post is a minor example of the wonderful and bizarre twists life can throw at you.

Our institute has many events throughout the year. One of the biggest is Sport's Day. There is a soccer tournament, a basketball tournament, and a talent show. Yet another email:

Dear Brad,

 

Thank you for joining our basketball team.

So far, we’ve got 8 members in total including you.

Our first game is on next Thursday from 12:10 PM.

 

Brief rule is as following,

Game period: 30 min with a half time.

When the game is tied, extra 3 min applies.

The rest follows NBA rules.

Ah, NBA rules. Excellent. Two days before our first game we have a practice. Since I am the only foreigner on the team I am worried about my ability to communicate. After meeting the players I ask them, "How do you say 'pass' in Korean?"

"Pass."

"Okay, how do you say 'shoot' in Korean?"

"Shoot."

Damn! I know way more Korean than I thought. Practice was fun. Since I was the tallest, the coach designated me as the starting center. That's right. At 45, I am the starting center for the Brain Science Institute basketball team. There are some potential problems, however. For instance, this is a full court game, and I am out of shape. They also play a zone defense. What happened to NBA rules? Oh well, let's lace 'em up!

The day of the game, the coach tells me the other team is commenting on how we have hired a 'mercenary' from the States. I'm not sure who our competition was. I think it was Biomedical Engineering, but it could have been Robotics or Metalochemistry, ... the giants. Anyway, I felt compelled to live up to that title so I suggest we play a 1-3-1 offensive set to attack the 2-3 zone everyone plays. This puts all of the offensive players in the gaps of the zone. The coach agreed until an old guy showed up and just took over. Welcome to Korean culture where you are to respect your elders. The new coach reluctantly agreed to the 1-3-1 and promptly made himself point guard.

I don't care what set you are in, if you telegraph your passes against quick Koreans it's not going to end well. He turned the ball over five times before declaring the 1-3-1 set a failure. He only turned the ball over four times running a 2-1-2 set. Even though we gave up a lot of fast break points we were only down 2 with 14 seconds to go. They had the ball so we fouled to put them at the line. The 'senior' coach tells us to throw a long pass since there are only 14 seconds. I've had enough, "NO! It only takes 5 seconds to dribble the length of the court. Don't make a stupid pass that can be easily intercepted!" He took me out. Apparently, he understood English. We lost by four.

Even though I was happy with my performance given my physical conditioning or lack there of, I was pissed. I try to respect the culture here, but for someone who doesn't know what he is doing to show up, take control, and cost us the game infuriated me. Perhaps I was trying too hard to show my value to my colleagues. That basketball game was my first chance to really do that. God forbid we actually do an experiment (that situation is improving though). As a result, I was complaining to everyone I saw. "We should have won that game. If we hadn't turned the ball over so often we would be playing for the championship. Now, our department has no representation on Sports day."

To which a secretary in the business office replies, "There is still the talent show."

To be continued...