'Our young challenger steps into the ring fresh off the boat looking optimistic and full of resolve. And there is the bell. His movement looks good. He is smiling. Oh, that jab got him - two months with only two chairs, a bed and TV. Ugh, that piece of equipment will take another month to arrive - body blow. Ohh, that purchase order has been delayed again - body blow. That one looked like it hurt. He is looking towards his corner. He misses his daughter - body blow. He misses his friends and family - body blow. He misses his girlfriend - another body blow! Oh, another jab. He is turning 45?! He is not as young as he thinks. This is getting ugly. Oh! No! He breaks up with the woman he was deeply in love with - that hay-maker landed! He's dazed. He's staggering. I don't think he knows where he is, but I do! He is down! He is down and I don't see him getting back up any time soon.'
A bit dramatic but a fair description of how I felt last week. That was the first time I just wanted to go home, but right after that thought came the realization that I was home. Despite having lost someone very special to me, I believe this move was still the right decision. One reason for thinking that are the number of surprises Seoul holds.
A few weekends ago, a friend of mine who can speak Korean and I went for brunch near Insadong. We found a very simple looking cafe with four wooden tables. We had coffee and cheesecake. I know. Cheesecake for brunch. But when you are hungry and that is all they have, that is what you eat. Anyway, the waitress tells my friend we should go to the bathroom. They are downstairs. What is she? Psychic? Okay, I like to believe I'm an adventurer. Downstairs we go.
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| A mask museum underneath a modest cafe |
I love randomness which is why I think I like Seoul so much. A museum of masks from Indonesia and Africa located in the basement of this cafe. I would not have actively sought out such a display, but randomly coming across it on my way to the restroom (I really did have to go, damn psychics) filled me with joy.
The point is that you just cannot predict the future. That would be way too boring. Don't get me wrong. I know what I hope the future will hold. I am still very sad that my future hopes will have to change. Right now my plan is to simply get up and start living again. Almost certainly I will get knocked down again and again. Why risk going through this again? Well, to quote one of my favorite movies of all time:
"Please tell my boy that in addition to the eternal 'Why?' there is a 'Yes!' and a 'Yes!' and a 'Yes!'" - A Room with a View
Okay, Seoul. I could use a few surprises. Where shall we go today?
Hang in there Brad - glad that you decided to post this message. Please keep them coming, I really look forward to reading about what you are experiencing and doing in Korea. Ray
ReplyDeleteThanks for reconsidering. Keep the messages coming, I like to read about your weird, strange, fun and successful adventures in Korea!
ReplyDeleteThank you. There were many emails concerned about the blog. This post wasn't too hard to write. It was somewhat therapeutic. The next one will be difficult as I try not to explore what possessed me to think a long distance relationship with a significant age difference might actually succeed. Even I do not want to read about that :)
ReplyDeleteGheez I thought I was the dramatic one in the family. I emailed Embassy yesterday I'm waiting on response. Hang in there. You should really start golfing and then you'd feel younger. Most of my friends are in their 60s or 70s. I'm one of the youngest on the course.
ReplyDeleteOh yea and you better keep blogging because my new year's resolution is to read your blog.(yes I'm 6 months behind my life schedule) I finally start reading it, then you say your not going to do it anymore then you say you will do it but it is difficult. Didn't you take your PS3 with you. Can't you kill some Zoombies and stop thinking so much. Just be. (I love giving out advice that I could never follow. )
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